You know those quirky habits you tone down around others? Your girlfriend would love to see this side of you. Don’t be afraid to do a silly dance or snort when you laugh! People sometimes think sharing feelings is embarrassing. But that’s not true! When you’re sad or hurt, tell your girlfriend. She’ll love your authenticity! Avoid acting “cool” or “tough” when you’re around your friends. This could make your girlfriend wonder if you’re putting on an act with her too.
Compliment her on what makes her unique: “Your style is so fresh and so you. I absolutely love the way you dress!” Tell her you love her deepest qualities: “You care so much about the people in your life—it’s so amazing. ” Let her know that she looks great: “My jaw is on the floor. I didn’t think you could get any more beautiful, but look at that dress!”
If you have trouble setting time aside for her, set reminders on your phone. Aim to hang out at least once a week (depending on how busy your schedules are!). Be thoughtful about your plans. Ask her to teach you about something that she’s great at (like dancing!). Or, ask her to give you a tour of one of her favorite spots. To make her extra excited, plan a fun event. Make her a scavenger hunt or plan a special hike with a picnic waiting at the end. When you’re together, focus on her. Instead of sitting on your phone, playing video games, or talking to another person, make sure your time together is true quality time.
With her permission, show her love in public for bonus points. Throw your arm over her at a party or wrap your arms around her waist at the grocery store. If you two have sex, this can be another great way to show your love. Get consent, ask her what she likes, and focus on her pleasure, not just yours. Be mindful of her boundaries and desires. Maybe your girlfriend loves cuddling on the couch, but only when you ask permission first. Make sure you respect that!
Jokingly tease her. Say she’s always late, try saying: “Maybe I’ll get you a watch for your birthday. It’d be like a gift for both of us!" Send her hilarious memes, especially the kinds she loves most. If you’re not sure where to start, ask her: “Hey, what kinds of memes make you laugh the most?” Do something totally unpredictable to make her smile. When you two are shopping around at the grocery store, suddenly pretend to fall down in a dramatic fashion.
Practice active listening when your girlfriend talks. Maintain eye contact, nod your head along with her, and ask thoughtful questions to prompt her to keep speaking. All listening is important, but when something serious happens, be especially considerate: “I’m coming over with ice cream. Let’s talk about this!” Focus on being empathetic to her situation. Try to actively imagine how you’d feel in her shoes because this will make her feel more supported.
Use your creative skills to make her something heartfelt. Write her a sweet song, pen a nice poem, or paint a portrait of her. Buy her something she’s talked about. When your girlfriend mentions needing something (like a new organizer!) write it down. Gift it to her later, and she’ll swoon. Look for gifts that could improve her life. Does she always get lost? By her a GPS! Show that you actively brainstorm ways to make her happy; she’ll be thrilled. Go big on birthdays and anniversaries. Save your best gifts for moments like these, and you can make special occasions feel even more memorable.
Talk her up in public: “Has Tara told you about her new short story? It’s so incredible, you wouldn’t believe it. " When she has a big night—like a ceremony, showcase, or competition—be there and be enthusiastic: “I’m so excited to cheer you on tonight!” Help her go after her goals. Is your girlfriend training for a triathlon? Offer to time her while she practices.
To create major romance, plan an exciting date. Take her for a boat ride under the stars, light some candles, and scatter some rose petals. Surprise her with sweet gestures and gifts. Bring flowers and chocolate home, show up for a spontaneous lunch date, or take her on a surprise road trip.
Is her trash can full? Take it out for her without being asked. If she mentions a big issue at school or with work, ask how you can help. “I wish I could make this easier for you. Is there anything I can do?” Then, take action. Maybe her car is in the shop indefinitely. Offer to give her rides when you can. This will make her feel totally loved and supported!
If she starts to get on your nerves, communicate that in a gentle voice: “Hey, could you actually stop poking me? I love you, but I have to get this work done. ” If she needs time to process something, give that to her: “I know you’re working on being more communicative. Just let me know when you’re ready to talk. "
Even if your girlfriend forgives you for a mistake, she may trust you less overall, and this could leave her feeling less satisfied. Stay honest with her. It can be tough to tell the truth, but even if it leads to a difficult conversation, your relationship will benefit overall. If you make a mistake, own up to it. Nobody’s perfect, and even though it may be tough, your girlfriend would rather you apologize than hide the truth.
Ask if you can meet her friends or family: “We’ve been dating for a few months. I’d love to meet the people who are important to you. What do you think?” When you do meet them, try to really bond. Ask them thoughtful questions about their life and actively listen when they talk to you. Be respectful when you meet her parents. Show up well dressed, shake their hands, speak politely, and consider bringing a gift, too.
To become better at identifying your own emotions, try journaling and start meditating. Ask intuitive questions: “Why do you think you struggle with avoidance in relationships? Where do you think that came from?” Make insightful comments about your own emotional state: “I’ve been feeling really scattered lately. I think it’s because of what’s happening with my sister. ”
Show her what you’re passionate about. Have goals to open a woodworking studio? Talk to her about your most recent project. Tell her about your plans. She’ll love hearing about how you’ve thought everything through; if you have a 5-year plan, walk her through it. Goals aren’t just about your career. If your goal is to travel or have a family, make sure she knows it!
Develop a personal style. Whether you love classic, sporty, or edgy looks, show her that you care about the way you present yourself to the world. If you’re not sure where to start, try researching fashion sites that cover dressing well and highlight recent trends. Pro tip: if all else fails, wear red around your girlfriend. Studies show that this color can make you appear more attractive, so it’s a great place to start!
Stubble makes you appear more attractive. Ask your girlfriend what she likes best, but if you’re unsure, go with a little midnight shadow! If you struggle to keep your breath smelling fresh, carry around gum, mouthwash, or breath mints. Try strength training exercises if you’re interested in putting on more muscle mass. If you’re more about cardio and endurance, incorporate running, swimming, or biking into your routine. Maybe you’d like fitness benefits and mental health benefits—try a mindful, relaxing exercise, like yoga.
Leave her notes around the house as a thank you. “Saw you did the dishwasher—thanks so much!” Tell her that you’re so grateful she’s with you: “You know, you’re the best. I’m so glad that you are who you are and that I get to be with you. ”
Do you and your girlfriend have a vacation coming up? Tell her that you’ll handle the plans, and come up with something super exciting, like a trip abroad. Take new classes (like dance, cooking, or improv) together. Seeing each other in a new scene can help you break out of your typical routines. Change things up constantly. Cook your partner breakfast or send them a random, risque text. Anything that shakes up the daily grind can help.
When you have the opportunity, don’t shy away from taking on a move, a career change, or even a long-distance relationship. When you overcome challenges together, you’ll end up closer!
Have a conversation about your desires. A change of scenery (like a hotel), sex toys, or a visit to a sex therapist can be a big help here! Schedule time for intimacy every week. This way, it never falls through the cracks. Take that time seriously, and do your best not to skip or reschedule it. Sleep naked next to each other. Even though it definitely won’t always lead to sex, it can create more intimate, exciting moments within your go-to routine.
Set time aside each week to connect. A date night, a Facetime, or a certain time each day (like breakfast) can help you two make intimacy part of your routine. Keep investing in your own personal interests, too. Your passions, hobbies, and goals shouldn’t be put on hold when you’re investing in a relationship.
Actively look for your relationship’s positives. Did your girlfriend just make you a cup of coffee? Take a second to reflect on how much you appreciate her love. The truth is, most relationships change over time. Maybe wild emotions have calmed, but new levels of closeness and familiarity can take their place. Enjoy it! When things get tough, remind yourself of all the great parts about your partner and your relationship. You chose this person for a reason!
