Posting in Reddit’s “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) forum under the username u/notahip, the daughter-in-law asked: “AITA for being annoyed my MIL ate my dinner?” The post has garnered over 9,000 upvotes and more than 1,500 comments calling u/notahip’s mother-in-law “evil” and “entitled.” You can read the full post here.
In-Law Dynamics
It’s rather common for people, especially women, to have tense relationships with their mothers-in-law.
A recent study published in the Evolutionary Psychological Science journal found that both men and women report having “more conflict with their mothers-in-law than with their own mothers,” the New York Post reported. Further, the study also supported the “prevailing folk knowledge” that “the mother and daughter-in-law relationship may be especially fraught with conflict,” as more mothers reported having conflict with daughters-in-law than with sons-in-law.
“Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law conflict often emerges from an expectation that each is criticizing or undermining the other, but this mutual unease may have less to do with actual attitudes and far more to do with persistent female norms that few of us manage to shake off completely,” said psychologist Dr. Terri Apter in her book, What Do You Want From Me? via The Guardian.
“Both the mother and the wife are struggling to achieve the same position in the family—primary woman. Each tries to establish or protect their status. Each feels threatened by the other,” Apter continued.
u/notahip didn’t say much about her relationship with her mother-in-law, but based on the information she provided, commenters said it doesn’t sound stellar.
‘AITA’
In her post, u/notahip said her mother-in-law came over for dinner recently, and she “served up generous portions for everyone.”
“I [dished] up everyone’s meal…[but] before serving mine I [ran] out to the line and [grabbed] some clothes that I hung out earlier,” u/notahip said. “[W]hen I got back from the line my dinner was gone.”
u/notahip quickly learned that her mother-in-law took her dinner because she was hungry and “wanted more.” Rather than start an argument, u/notahip decided to let it go and planned to get fast food later in the evening.
“But once she’s eaten what she wants, she asks for a container so she can take her extra portion home for dinner the next night. I’m pretty annoyed at this point and mention that it was meant to be my dinner for that night, not her takeaway meal for the next night,” u/notahip wrote.
Her mother-in-law offered to let u/notahip have the food but u/notahip ultimately let her mother-in-law take it home. Later that night, u/notahip’s husband texted his mother and told her that the stunt was “greedy and selfish,” and asked her to apologize to u/notahip.
“She replies telling him that I acted like an a**hole [and] I should have cooked more and anticipated that she would take home a portion for the next day…and I owe HER an apology for my attitude and snarky comment,” u/notahip said, adding that her mother-in-law has posted about the situation all over social media.
“AITA?” she asked.
Redditors React
Redditors said u/notahip had every right to be annoyed with her mother-in-law.
“She took all of the food before you had eaten any, and then demanded to take leftovers. She’s f**king with you. Don’t ever cook for her again,” uUsernameTaken93456 said.
Upon reading that u/notahip was pregnant, u/Astra_Trillian commented: “Damn…I thought MIL was rude but that’s straight-up evil.”
u/smarthagirl wrote: “There is a special place in hell for anyone who eats a pregnant woman’s food and makes her go hungry.”
u/Swiss_El_Rosso added: “NTA [not the a**hole]. It’s unbelievable how entitled your MIL is acting.”
Newsweek has reached out to u/notahip for comment.
Other Viral Posts
In June, online commenters applauded a woman who told her mother-in-law that she wants to be intimate with her son.
Also in June, a woman split online opinion for saying she wanted a break from her 85-year-old mother-in-law.
And in April, a woman went viral for sharing that her mother-in-law “implied” she wasn’t family.
