In a viral post shared on the U.K.-based discussion website Mumsnet, which can be seen here, user BonnieBobbet explained she and her ex share a 9-year-old daughter and that she had a good relationship with his new partner until recently.
The user added the stepmother’s relationship with her daughter had changed for the worse after the stepmom had her own child, who is now 3.
According to the American Community Survey in 2019, there were an estimated 2,396,311 children in the U.S. who were registered as stepchildren.
The Mumsnet user posted: “She used to be very invested in my daughter’s life, they spent time together going places, she’d help out in the school holidays and things and yes admittedly she’s helped me out on a few occasions. I’ve always been very grateful and it was never expected but she’s offered in the past and we get on well enough.
“Since her son was born [it] is like she never really has time for DD [dear daughter]. Never takes her anywhere anymore, doesn’t help out ex-p [ex-partner] making some logistics difficult.”
The Mumsnet user continued: “Her family was really good with her too and she enjoyed their company. They weren’t grandparents to her but she really liked them.
“Now it’s the same, she feels they are only interested in her brother, she doesn’t really understand why he can go for sleepovers and SMs [stepmother’s] mum and dad’s house but she can’t.”
She claimed the stepmother no longer bought her daughter things to give her ex-partner on Father’s Day or on his birthday, instead saying she could buy these things with her own pocket money.
The Mumsnet user added that the stepmother now takes her son on vacation to Disneyland after having previously chosen to have breaks in the U.K.
She was frustrated that so much money could be spent and not include bringing her daughter along on family vacations.
Since being shared Tuesday, the post has racked up some 214 responses, most of which were from people who sided with the Mumsnet user.
One Mumsnet user said: “YANBU [you are not being unreasonable], posters will soon come along to say your DD is not her responsibility but if she wanted to be a detached step mum she should not have built up an expectation before her son was born. To act so differently now she has her own baby is cruel.
“The holidays are very unfair but not all on the stepmum, your ex should not be paying for a Disneyland trip for one child and not the other, if U.K. holidays are ‘good enough’ then that should apply to all of his children.”
Another added: “Gosh, that’s a tough one. [It’s] like she used your DD as a practice kid until she had her own. I can’t fathom how people can drop a kid like that (seen it happen plenty though).
“It’s very hurtful. Re [regarding] the holidays, it’s really her dad who is the only one who can do something about it. He needs to insist DD comes along on at least half of the family holidays imo [in my opinion].
A third posted: “Why is the SM [stepmother] getting the hard time and not the dad? Surely he’s more responsible for making this transition easier? If the 3-year-old is at his grandparents does that not leave your daughter having her own time with her dad and SM? Is that not a good thing?”
Some commenters, however, were keen to place blame on the user’s former partner and said he needed to step up.
One commenter said: “Your ex is the issue here. He should be ensuring equity across the two houses for your DD, not the SM.”
Newsweek wasn’t able to verify the details of the case.
